I was left alone. All the blame's on me and what frustrates me most is that I don't have the guts to tell Vincent everything. I don't know, maybe I am jut scared to make another mistake that would push him away from me. I am scared to talk, to say another thing because i am scared that I might say something he won't like. I am holding on to the only grasp i have for survival, and I make yet another move, I'm dead.
It seems to me like they are together now — Teng and Alex James. There's no problem with that but why do I feel so jealous. Maybe because I fancied Teng for years and I am in love with Alex James. It's the strangest thing for a love triangle I ever known. Two people I like, now being together.
I feel so frustrated. I feel so depressed. I feel like this is not right. Vincent should not be treating me this way. But why the hell can't I just simply speak the truth and make things alright between all of us? Alex James is right, I should be loving myself first. It's easy to say that especially when you don't know what I feel.Maybe he is right but that is not that easy. I was left without any option but to keep my mouth shut.
I don't know where to go from here. How I wish I could just get away with this without the doubts and the guilt creeping in my veins. It's killing me, to tell you honestly. It kills me to know that Teng doesn't want us to be friends anymore. It kills me to learn that Alex James and Teng are going out. Them being together is my worst nightmare. I wish I could simply forget everything.
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